Not All About Me

As I sit here and gather my thoughts and begin to write, I am heavy hearted. “If I had only known what I know today” is something I am sure many say in a situation where life events make you wish you had made different decisions earlier in your journey. But you didn’t. And neither did I, my brother, my father, uncles from both sides, and my great-grandfather. Today I am watching my brother suffer, someone who I love deeply and who wishes he had made different decisions earlier in life.  I wish he had too. I have also watched him suffer because my father made decisions he regretted and I watched my father suffer because of the decisions that others made who were responsible for his early life conditioning. I can go back for generations in my family history and list how the decisions the males have made have deeply impacted the generations that followed. And now both my brother and I are impacting the generations that follow us. As are you and everyone else in this world. We impact ourselves and others with the decisions we make that leads us to undesirable and/or unhealthy consequences. The awesome thing about this journey we call life is that we get many second opportunities to change or improve the way that we make decisions with our health, our relationships, and how we impact those around us. That change can begin today!

My Father’s Fault! Or Not?

            We are conditioned in several ways to become who we are later in life. We have genetics which gives us what we are “hardwired” to be if the circumstances are right. We also have home environments, school environments, small town and city environments, religious environments, and social environments that in many cases teaches us what to believe, what is “right” and what is “wrong,” and even the health choices that we make. We develop our own belief systems, reward systems, coping skills, and worldview based on all of the things that I just mentioned. My father did not realize at the time how he was impacting us. He taught us what he knew and gave us the only set of genes that he had. We adopted the rest. Do you know how your choices, especially the ones related to health, are affecting the ones you love?

Change Your Genes

I remember reading a wonderful and well-known Cherokee legend that had gone viral on the Internet: An old grandfather is speaking to his grandson about what causes the violence and cruelty in the world. “In each human heart,” he tells the boy, “there are two wolves battling one another—one is fearful and angry, and the other is understanding and kind.” The young boy then asks, “Which one will win?” His grandfather smiles and says, “Whichever one we choose to feed.” This is so true although I didn’t understand it for the first 35 years of my life. Temperament, addictive behaviors, weight, and depression in some cases can be HEAVILY influenced by genetics. I will classify this type of genetic as the angry wolf. If the “conditions were right” and you began to respond in life by feeding the angry wolf genetic then the consequences will probably be an unhealthy outcome whether its’ hurt relationships, addictions, pain related to health choices, or chronic depression. But thankfully the angry wolf genetic can be altered if we are willing to do the work necessary to alter it. It is not easy but so worth it. Here is what I have witnessed through myself, others, and sound research that will help you to change the physical hand that we are dealt with and feed the loving wolf:

  1. Accept without judgment of yourself that you are preconditioned to be a certain way. You were dealt the hand you got and now you can play it differently.
  2. Change what you put into your mind and body. Food, what we read, what we watch for entertainment, music, and the things we tell ourselves will either feed the angry wolf or the loving wolf. Healthy nutrition, materials that help us to learn and grow as humans, being thankful for or hating things in life, and how we justify things through our own self-talk are all things we can control. It takes some work, some pain, some struggle, and a hunger for change. It beats what my brother is going through.
  3. Have people in your life that will challenge you to be better and support you without judgment during your work to change. Support does not always tell us what we want to hear but rather what we need to hear. It is mandatory for growth.
  4. Exercise! Physical activity is shown to regenerate damaged neurons in us and at the same time make us feel better both physically and mentally. It is important too to see exercise as beneficial and not as punishment. The way we see exercise will impact us physically and mentally as well. Seeing exercise as beneficial will help the process of feeding the healthy and loving wolf while seeing it as punishment will feed the angry and unhealthy wolf.
  5. Stay resilient! The story is told of how one of the biggest gold mines in US history was not found by the person who had originally sought it out. He worked and worked and worked and found only minimal gold. He decided to sell the deed, his equipment, and move on. The person who purchased it from him “did the work” necessary to find the gold and discovered that the original owner had stopped just a few feet away from a fortune that would change his life and the generations that would follow him.
  6. THE MESSAGE OF THE DAY: Remember the impact you have on others through your choices. Everything you do impacts someone. Feed the loving wolf and impact others positively!

It is time to discover your fortune and fight for it. It is time to make the health choices that will impact you in the future and the generations that follow you. It is time to enjoy the greatest fortune that has ever been given—the ability to love your life because of the lifestyle and health you have created. It is time to BE YOUR OWN MIRACLE!


Miracles of Phoenix Fitness Owner Coe Kirby combines a Master’s Degree in Community Counseling with 12+ years as a personal trainer to develop the most extensive lifestyle modification program for mental and physical wellbeing in America. He has helped hundreds of people overcome self-defeating behaviors and achieve goals of all levels. His unique style and skill set as a personal trainer and life coach make him comfortable to be open with while pursuing the growth or change you desire. Knowing that each individual is different with where they are in the change process, he guides the client on a journey of self-discovery that helps the individual learn his or her own method to success while giving strong support and proven tools to assist them. His two books, Your Health is Your Wealth: Working Out the Inner Self For a Fit Outer Self and Rebuilding Your Temple From the Inside Out have helped people from all walks of life learn how to create healthier lifestyles for themselves and their families. Both books are available through or  Good luck on your health journey!



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